When an elderly loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, family members often understand that the diagnosis will forever change their lives. However, while people may feel at least somewhat prepared for the memory troubles their loved one will increasingly experience, they are often shocked by other changes in behavior. For many dementia patients, this can include a that they may never have used before.
If your loved one has recently exhibited outbursts of swearing or inappropriate language, you may understandably feel hurt or embarrassed by this behavior. In order to begin to cope with these changes, it is important to understand their causes.
Why Do People with Dementia Swear?
As symptoms progress and the capacity to remember declines, dementia patients have an increasingly difficult time expressing themselves verbally.
At some point in this progression, one effect of dementia is that the person loses their verbal filter. When this happens, they no longer stop themself from using words that they would have recognized as inappropriate, offensive, or hurtful before the disease erased their ability to guard their language.
Furthermore, dementia often causes frustration due to an increasing sense of confusion, as well as a need to rely on the help of others. Sometimes, this frustration comes out in the form of name-calling and swearing. This can be especially true when something acts to trigger the person’s frustration.
What Are the Triggers of Dementia Swearing?
The factors that trigger this behavior in people with dementia vary from person to person. You may want to observe your loved one closely and see whether any of the following triggers are connected to their outbursts:
- Changes in routine
- Unfamiliar spaces
- Overstimulating surroundings
- Lack of personal space
- Personal confrontations
- Feeling patronized
The loss of inhibition and the cognitive changes that accompany dementia serve to magnify the sense of anxiety or frustration that any person would feel in these circumstances. If you are able to prevent your loved one from being exposed to these types of triggers, you may find that they don’t lash out as often.
How Do I Cope?
The fact that you understand where your loved one’s outbursts are coming from does not mean that you won’t sometimes feel hurt when they occur. Nevertheless, it’s important that you remind yourself in advance, as often as you can, that attempting to argue or responding with anger will only make things worse. Try to remain calm, which may help your loved one feel calmer as well.
At the same time, it is important that you let them know that using that kind of language toward you is not acceptable. This message may get through to them, especially if they are in the early stages of dementia.
In other situations, you can try to change the topic of the conversation or go on a walk together to get a change of scenery. This can serve to redirect their attention and distract them from whatever might be triggering their frustration.
Take a Break from the Loved Ones Swearing
We are all human, and there will certainly be times when it is impossible to remain calm. In these cases, if your loved one is in a safe space where they can be left alone, sometimes the best thing to do is to give yourself a ten-minute time-out. In that time, try to remind yourself that their language isn’t personal. It’s the disease talking.
Behavioral changes in elderly loved ones can feel overwhelming sometimes. Having an experienced elder law attorney on your side can help. They will be able to give you effective strategies to cope, and they will also be able to advise you on the important decisions you need to make about your loved one’s well-being. If you need assistance creating a plan, please feel free to contact our Tampa-area law firm at (813) 438-8503 to schedule a consultation.